Vivre Dans Ma Peau ! https://akward.journalintime.com/ Ht: La vie est vraiment simple mais nous insistons à la rendre compliquée !! Ct: I choose Happy. fr 2020-08-26T11:47:36+02:00 https://akward.journalintime.com/Update Update I am still not over Haruma Miura. I have the carpenter in the next room fixing my table for me. I broke the day I had Hajar Rihab and Hind over. I almost got eeposed on the ED thing. I am not a liar but sometimes we have to lie and keep those lies going.Either because its not of anypone buisness or because telling the truth can expose your weakness to others, trigger you into some self destructive behavior or just down right take too long. And sometimes if the truth is complicated you have to explain it to everyone and it gets to exausting to tell each individual then you memorize whatever it I am still not over Haruma Miura. I have the carpenter in the next room fixing my table for me. I broke the day I had Hajar Rihab and Hind over. I almost got eeposed on the ED thing. I am not a liar but sometimes we have to lie and keep those lies going.Either because its not of anypone buisness or because telling the truth can expose your weakness to others, trigger you into some self destructive behavior or just down right take too long. And sometimes if the truth is complicated you have to explain it to everyone and it gets to exausting to tell each individual then you memorize whatever it is you say then it becomes your truth.
How awful. So to save myself all of that. I just lied because i had to at that time but now i just downright dont answer. So what does that make me ? Because I am not a liar in fact I dont like liars lying or beng lied to. But I seem to have to do that a lot. I blame the first lie on my dad. How could I tell my friends or people in a patrirchal society I dont have a dad ? It would make me weak and easy to pray on. Also its sad and after telling the first people I noticed pity in their eyes. I hate that look of pity. So i just dont tell them. I lie. Because at first I never told them about him and they assumed he was dead. I just dont want people to know stuff about me. Like why does it matter ?

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2020-08-26T11:47:36+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/Je-veux-me-marier Je veux me marier. Oué oué c'est con je sais. Mais je suis tombée sur un compte Tik Tok de cette moeuf qui a presque le même âge que moi.Elle créait des vidéos avec son mari (du même âge aussi) qui est soldat. C'était trop mignon,et je me suis rapportée parce qu'elle était pétillante et loufoque, comme moi. Vu que ça fait 3 ans que je vis toute seule (depuis l'âge de 18). J'ai perdue toute inspiration, je ne sais plus qui je suis où bien qui j'voudrais être. Y'en a marre d'être célibataire. Je voudrais bien mon propre Gérard Butler de PS: I love you. Un homme que je claimerai le mien. 2 Oué oué c’est con je sais. Mais je suis tombée sur un compte Tik Tok de cette moeuf qui a presque le même âge que moi.Elle créait des vidéos avec son mari (du même âge aussi) qui est soldat. C’était trop mignon,et je me suis rapportée parce qu’elle était pétillante et loufoque, comme moi. Vu que ça fait 3 ans que je vis toute seule (depuis l’âge de 18). J’ai perdue toute inspiration, je ne sais plus qui je suis où bien qui j’voudrais être. Y’en a marre d’être célibataire. Je voudrais bien mon propre Gérard Butler de PS : I love you. Un homme que je claimerai le mien. 2 personnes 1 âme.

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2019-12-21T17:20:00+01:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/Just-woke-up-Waterfast Just woke up. Waterfast. Lol okay. Since my weight is so crippling so depressing. Im gonna get rid of it. I need 30 days of water drinking only. Its scary about I cant do normal diets. My body image and relationship with food is so distorted that I need to reset the mode. For 30 days I shan't eat a thing. But if I feel like I cant go no more i'll have something under 50 calories since I will still be in Fast mode. So I know 30 days without food and just water sounds crazy but i've done 10 days before I can do it. I will keep this window open so I can rant whenever it gets to hard. OKAY I GOT IT. For This 30days I am Lol okay. Since my weight is so crippling so depressing. Im gonna get rid of it.
I need 30 days of water drinking only.
Its scary about I cant do normal diets. My body image and relationship with food is so distorted that I need to reset the mode.
For 30 days I shan’t eat a thing. But if I feel like I cant go no more i’ll have something under 50 calories since I will still be in Fast mode. So I know 30 days without food and just water sounds crazy but i’ve done 10 days before I can do it.
I will keep this window open so I can rant whenever it gets to hard.
OKAY I GOT IT.
For This 30days I am no longer Rita. I am a highly functioning, highly detached, sociopath.
I have goals. But I dont think I am the one to make them come true. Hence why I am summoning the ...um… I got it...I have this cousin that is very siphisticated and goal oriented ...I’ll be her… I’ll just keep asking myself what would she do...She woul’ve totally done it. I CAN DO IT....
I AINT NO PUSSY
After the weight loss to not relapse
No refined sugars
No saturated fats
No deep fried foods(once in a blue moon)
No sugary drinks
No ramen noodles
--------------------------------------------------------
Eat 4 times a day (breakfast lunch snack dinner)
No food after 8 pm
Drink a glass of cold water before every meal
Chew slowly and savor every piece
Drink tea and water throughout the day
Eat fruit vegetables low fat lean meats dark chocolate dried fruits
Never go 3 days without a workout
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IT IS TIME I PASS TO THE NEXT GOALS --_--

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2019-08-27T11:06:00+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/2019 2019 * Be optimistic and always smiling like wrinkle and Donna * Have Sooyoung legs (3.9-3-2) 18 inch waist (with abs) firm butt some nice muscles dont be skin and bones * Do 15 minutes of physics a day * Do not drink or smoke pot or antng * Shop in bulk mng cook home more vegan recipes basically vegan dream n eat less outsite meaning tea salad or ntng * Shop more in Econom class * Do more free sports * Look great for less mng good skin wax moisturize buy few but clearly good quality stuff * Fix crooked feet * Make everything at home * Always keep apartment tidy * Relax more and don't overthink * Be optimistic and always smiling like wrinkle and Donna
* Have Sooyoung legs (3.9-3-2) 18 inch waist (with abs) firm butt some nice muscles dont be skin and bones
* Do 15 minutes of physics a day
* Do not drink or smoke pot or antng
* Shop in bulk mng cook home more vegan recipes basically vegan dream n eat less outsite meaning tea salad or ntng
* Shop more in Econom class
* Do more free sports
* Look great for less mng good skin wax moisturize buy few but clearly good quality stuff
* Fix crooked feet
* Make everything at home
* Always keep apartment tidy
* Relax more and don’t overthink
* Always think so what im up for whatever whenever im a Warrior and smile
* MAIN FOCUS FROM NOW TILL NEXT YEAR IS KROK BE THE BEST STUDENT THAT ACADEMY HAS EVER SEEN BE DEAF BE BLIND JUST EYES ON THE PRIZE
*No pressure make it happen dont make it happen no worries
66795 Hryvniya
2385 Dollars
If i suddenly had this much money i could probably buy a good photography camera
Ukelele
and save the rest invvest it maybe or maybe get a job and keep adding to it or maybe invest in myself more Foot surgery maybe
And i would still have a lot of cash literrally how awsome is it to have a lot of money is that no matter how much you spend you still have a lot of money .

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2019-01-05T17:02:00+01:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/WHAIS-GOING-ON WHAIS GOING ON? God Why is this happening to me? Why am I treated like crap? I hate this...Everyday is torture, god. God please me out of here please please please please please help me i hate this i hate this i hate this ... I have never wished death upon somebody until this year. I hate myself I hate this situation, I hate him SO MUCH ...I hope all the money hes ever made gets lost in one time. I hope all his cash and all his documents get burned .. *update* Just woke up, prayed a lil. Thinking what should i have for break fast. I feel like Jamie.Fucked from the ass. What should I do ? oh god oh god...This God
Why is this happening to me ? Why am I treated like crap ? I hate this...Everyday is torture, god. God please me out of here please please please please please help me i hate this i hate this i hate this ...
I have never wished death upon somebody until this year. I hate myself I hate this situation, I hate him SO MUCH ...I hope all the money hes ever made gets lost in one time. I hope all his cash and all his documents get burned ..
*update*
Just woke up, prayed a lil.
Thinking what should i have for break fast.
I feel like Jamie.Fucked from the ass.
What should I do ? oh god oh god...This is financially straigning ...I wish i could go study somewhere better...
I wish I had a nicer body..everything would ve been better...I need to be Vegan again…

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2018-08-24T07:17:16+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/its-raining-men its raining men OMG OMG OMG OMG Diary. Ok Margo écoutes, aujourd’hui était une journée de bg.de bg j’te dis. Au début y avait ce blondinet de Badoo (il vit à L.A) Et puis y avait ce mec qui s’est approché de mois a cote du feu rouge et il m a demandé ou ce trouve Versal haha. Mais le meilleur c’est ce beau gars que j ai vu lors je suis allée faire ma commande de salade César et soupe de champignons. Mais je crois qu’il est plus jeune que mois d au moins 2ans. Mais il était ci beau. AHHAHAHA, c’est décidé, j irai là-bas au régulier .LOL. Le truc c’est, que les mecs soit me OMG OMG OMG OMG Diary.
Ok Margo écoutes, aujourd’hui était une journée de bg.de bg j’te dis.
Au début y avait ce blondinet de Badoo (il vit à L.A)
Et puis y avait ce mec qui s’est approché de mois a cote du feu rouge et il m a demandé ou ce trouve Versal haha.
Mais le meilleur c’est ce beau gars que j ai vu lors je suis allée faire ma commande de salade César et soupe de champignons. Mais je crois qu’il est plus jeune que mois d au moins 2ans. Mais il était ci beau. AHHAHAHA, c’est décidé, j irai là-bas au régulier .LOL.
Le truc c’est, que les mecs soit me trouvent hyper belle, soit je les dégoute et ils m’ignorent royalement ya pas de milieu. Bizarre non ?
Je n’arrive pas à croire comme il était beau.
Il a même essayé de commencer une conversation avec moi, il ma demandé si j avais commandé une pizza de je ne sais quoi alors que j ai clairement pas ahaha.

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2018-08-12T00:06:39+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/Dear-2013-me Dear 2013 me... You are 15, beautiful and optimistic, you are insecure, you hate your body, even though it's perfect, a lot of people actually envy you for it. This is 2018 and your life has actually took the craziest change, some things you never thought would happen have happened. You dyed your hair BLONDE. Bravo for the guts. You still haven't gotten your first kiss. Yesterday you discovered your Uncle Taib died, u actually kinda felt it with 3men and grandma dream And remember A, that boy you were so very crazy about, you told him you liked him ahahaha, he said you should have You are 15, beautiful and optimistic, you are insecure, you hate your body, even though it’s perfect, a lot of people actually envy you for it.
This is 2018 and your life has actually took the craziest change, some things you never thought would happen have happened.
You dyed your hair BLONDE. Bravo for the guts.
You still haven’t gotten your first kiss.
Yesterday you discovered your Uncle Taib died, u actually kinda felt it with 3men and grandma dream
And remember A, that boy you were so very crazy about, you told him you liked him ahahaha, he said you should have told him. He was thinking about kissing you. lol.
You even told your mom you told him you liked him and she laughed. She actually likes him and think he’s cute.
You have a new circle of great amazing friends and you have god to thank for that.
You’re still a Diva
You love lifting
You went Vegan
You are experimenting with fashion styles even girly
You weigh 84 kg
You’ve had a brief flirtation with your physics teacher (now he groses you out) two boys from anatomy class
You learned russian -remember how hard you found it to say "zdravzstvuyte" lmao
*************THINGS THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED ACCORDING TO PLAN****************
You actually went to live in european country the second you turned 18
You have a gay bestfriend
You are studying medecine
You are living alone in a small space
You have your own crazy group of bestfriends

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2018-08-07T20:30:21+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/ghith ghith Memories of a Mortal: Cold… It feels so cold…My head is burning but everything else is cold …and light…just like a feather, I ask my self does it always feel like this, or is it just me, I hear people crying and calling for me, telling me not to give up. Give up what? I have several flash backs, me at 5 on the roof top wearing my red French hat and sitting on my pretty pink princess-y chair I smile to the camera and click, I’m 7 my math teacher wrote my name on the top of the class pyramid, I make my wish, open my eyes and blow my 9th birthday cake, actually there were two, I Memories of a Mortal:
Cold… It feels so cold…My head is burning but everything else is cold …and light…just like a feather, I ask my self does it always feel like this, or is it just me, I hear people crying and calling for me, telling me not to give up. Give up what ? I have several flash backs, me at 5 on the roof top wearing my red French hat and sitting on my pretty pink princess-y chair I smile to the camera and click, I’m 7 my math teacher wrote my name on the top of the class pyramid, I make my wish, open my eyes and blow my 9th birthday cake, actually there were two, I can’t help but to smile ,suddenly I‘m 13 in a friend’s house we’re at her bathroom We giggle as we cut each other’s long dark hair and flush, I put the scissors down look at my face in the mirror in front of me when four of my classmates are carrying me and waving me everywhere I scream and laugh so hard of both ear and excitement, cars horn and people in scooters call us names but we’re not moving, but I’m not going anywhere I’m eating Japanese noodles and sushi enjoying ditching the stupid forum to take something off my bucket list my heart is full not because of the food but of the idea ,16 8 months I get up and do the victory dance as I find out I got into the school of my dreams I yell “thank you god thank you my answers have been answered” this time I cry of happiness, those are moments of my life that I will always hold on to ,in moments like these that I felt how everything is possible like I could reach the stars. Will there be more or is it the end ?
17, I’m here, where or when I don’t recall, I am just re-experiencing everything I have ever done ever since I came to this world till this moment, I was always so certain that something greater is meant for me, a glorious fate, will it come true or will all those dreams and ideas leave this world with me ? Oddly I was happy, I wasn’t a bit scared like I always imagined, I was rather curious.
I always tried my best to shine to do my best and find answers to know more and act more leave my print before I leave my mark, touch people and make their life easier and less complicated. Did I do everything I ever wished or did I ignore some if not all ? Then I start thinking… There are things I’ve always dreamt of doing but never had the guts

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2016-07-10T21:42:12+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/ppliction ppliction Ghitha Zahir Ben Grir Prep School Ben Grir green city, 5o km from Marrakech, Morocco October 20th 2016 Massachusetts Institute of technology 77 Massachusetts Ave, Cambridge, MA 021339, United States Dear admission department, It is my honor to apply to Massachusetts Institute of technology after doing much research about it almost on a daily basis for the past two and a half years of my life, I checked everything from the tours, to the lectures, to the historical background to the vlogs of students that go there I dreamt about this moment where I apply ever since I was sixteen ,although Ghitha Zahir
Ben Grir Prep School
Ben Grir green city, 5o km from Marrakech, Morocco
October 20th 2016
Massachusetts Institute of technology
77 Massachusetts Ave, Cambridge, MA 021339, United States

Dear admission department,
It is my honor to apply to Massachusetts Institute of technology after doing much research about it almost on a daily basis for the past two and a half years of my life, I checked everything from the tours, to the lectures, to the historical background to the vlogs of students that go there I dreamt about this moment where I apply ever since I was sixteen ,although just a bit before that it was Harvard’s medical school ,but to be honest somehow along the way I fell in love with physics ,and what better place to learn physics then MIT ,I was inspired by Drew Houstonwords in the 2013 graduation speech when he said and I quote “There’s only one MIT…one Hollywood and there’s only one Silicon Valey and this isn’t a coincidence

the outsider : 13 reasons why :lola and the boy next door;just one day;elenor and park;fango;just a year;looking for alaska;the fault in our stars;duff;my life next door:forget you ; going too far ;hopeless:a monster calls;the sky is everywhere;the bronze horseman;slammed;smart girls get what they want;before i go to sleep:room;a stolen life;'david nicole',where rainbows end;the time traveller wife,jodi piccolt sing you home;the perks of being a wollflower,choke,elswhere , to meet in heavan

couchsurfing.com:the world factbook:one look.com:how stuffworks.com;learnstreet.com;mindtools.com;pinfruit.com:Ted.com:cliffnotes.com;lumosity.com:ankisrs.net;geography IQ.com;codeacademy.com;gutenburg. com;inforamation is beautiful.net:quora.com;investopedia;MIT!cookforengeneers;khanacademy;duolingo.com goodreads

fiction
non fiction
historical novels
self help novels
romances
mysteries
science fiction
horror

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2016-07-10T21:34:00+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/he he I believe that if everyone, regardless of race, can push themselves to work harder and to do better, they excel. If they can do that, while having a social life or downtime, that’s great. The truth of the matter is that it’s all about hard work, work ethics, and balance. . I believe that if everyone, regardless of race, can push themselves to work harder and to do better, they excel. If they can do that, while having a social life or downtime, that’s great. The truth of the matter is that it’s all about hard work, work ethics, and balance.
.

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2016-07-10T21:32:11+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/3d87-bossldy bossldy Chapter 1: 2dkweue3y5 2dkweue3y5 2e50kqnls Ever since I was little, I always dreamt; whether I was sitting in the classroom by the window, lying down on my bedroom floor contempling the stars, in the back seat of every car I rode or even sleeping-Although I never liked my sleep dreams since I couldn’t control them-. God I dreamt of everything! My imagination had no limits, I found my reality so blend and boring I was desperate to feel something ,anything, I felt myself going numb day by day, So my only refugee was the hope that my future might be brighter and greater than my Chapter 1:
2dkweue3y5 2dkweue3y5 2e50kqnls

Ever since I was little, I always dreamt; whether I was sitting in the classroom by the window, lying down on my bedroom floor contempling the stars, in the back seat of every car I rode or even sleeping-Although I never liked my sleep dreams since I couldn’t control them-. God I dreamt of everything ! My imagination had no limits, I found my reality so blend and boring I was desperate to feel something ,anything, I felt myself going numb day by day, So my only refugee was the hope that my future might be brighter and greater than my present. This feeling grew with me, so did my dreams, I found myself a senior at high school, no remarkable marks, parents divorced ever since I was three so I never knew what it actually feels like to have a father daughter relationship, I was no beauty, no brains, no great personality, no talent …I stayed at my grandparents ‘house with them, an ignorant uncle and a little sister, I hadn’t had talked to my dad in two years, he hadn’t bothered to ask, I was going through a series of eating disorder losing 20 pounds gaining 30 ..I hated my body, I hated binging, and I hated school. But I wanted to be 43 kilos, become a scientist and win a Nobel Prize.
I had lots of fantasies, lots of dreams, lots of goals, and also a depression, I felt horrible for wasting time, for procrastinating, for studying and yet not get the highest marks I was pissed at the world, my family members didn’t make it any easier, trying to misguide me. I always doubted their feelings towards me and my mother, they acted like they cared, but the truth is that deep down they wanted us to stay where we were, at the bottom, so that they can step on us like grass. I could feel it although I always tried to keep my heart clear and my intentions good, but you can’t miss it at all. Same thing was happening to me at school. It hurt me so much that people act in a way and intend another. Hypocrisy, selfishness, hatred… Exactly why?
At a point in my life, whenever I would think about it, everything would seem pointless, I never understood why people were so freaked out about their grades, about their studies, and why wasn’t I, I hated the facts that university ranked people according to their grades, I mean why ? That number doesn’t reflect me, I just happened to be confused, at this exact period, it just happened that I am unhappy, lost … Why would a stupid sheet be so decisive in my life ? I’m young after all, I have my whole life in front of me, I don’t want to be controlled, I want to see the world, I want to experience everything, make lots of mistakes and meet lots of people who like me want to discover themselves their vision, the path they want to take.
All of this seems so depressive, it’s all going on in my head, deep thoughts and life philosophies, but outside, outside I look like any other person.
Mom and Mathieu are the only two people that I’m grateful to have in my life, My mother the woman who gave birth of me brought me to this world and taught me everything I know, pushed me to do the right thing and be a good person, and deep down she was the one I look up to, my role model, and Mathieu my baby my angel my brother my best friend, he reflects everything I love about life, he is a kind, smart, energetic, positive, outgoing, funny, adorable, honest, beautiful creature, basically he gave me hope in humanity. We met in Prep school, it was it first year, we were all new, new teachers, new facility, new campus, new dorm, new cheets, and new me . I had shed 45 pounds in the past 4 months, changed my attitude, my clothing style and my hair color, I was so happy I got that scholarship, I started studying for approximately 19 hours a day, 1 for sport, 2 for sleep and 2 for food shower and hanging out with friends. It’s actually funny how Mathieu and I met, I was at a cake shop with 2 close friends of mine Malika the redhead, Sara the rich girl (but no brat) and my gorgeous roommate and best friend Sabrina, I was getting up to pick a flavor when Mathieu and I layed finger on the last chocolate cake in the store, we looked at each other then I said -You do know that chocolate enhances the amount of estrogen in your body and makes your voice and figure more feminine…he replied as he paid the cashier that handed him a pink box -It’s okay chicks find it sexy ..-Come on dude I’ll buy any other one you pick, deal ?...-I have a suggestion, you keep your money I keep the cake and you’ll list me reasons why you desperately want this specific cake if your day is worse than mine I’ll give it to you in other words the one that had the shitiest day gets the cake as an apology from freaking life…
I looked thoroughly for seconds then I said –I’ve been on a restrictive diet ever since May I only have one cheat day every other week, I have to study for almost 20 hours a day just to keep up with my class since I didn’t major in Math at high school, the shit is tough now, I eat my meals in tiny freakish paper cups, I haven’t tasted milk dairies in ages, I’m far from home so I don’t get to talk to my family that much even when I miss’em, I got hit on 4 times on my way here, I dropped a kid from her crib and broke a nail, and now I have to fight over a tiny chocolate fudge cake with the blond version of John Tucker cause when I get back to the campus I have to clean the entire lab section with tiny toothbrushes as a punishment for talking back to the guest of honor on the freaking city assembly, wash everyone’s clothes and pull an all-nighter to get my quantum physics paper done on time IF I get it done on time …
-Okay, you deserved it …
-Thanks dude !...
-see you in class Rita !...
-H..how did you know my name?...
-Well I go to Ben Grir’s Prep school and I went through the class list and there were only two girls in it and I don’t think your name is Myung lee isn’t it ..
-Haha, Nope ! Wait that make You Mathieu Odonel the math prodigy, welcome to Morocco !
As I was leaving he called for me and said
–You didn’t “only” talk back to the guy didn’t you ?
-…
-…
-…I punched him; don’t get any wrong ideas I’m usually a very calm person but he called my friend here the B word cause she stepped on his shoe when we were in the elevator !
After hearing that he sat with us and I ended up talking to him for hours it’s like we knew each other for ages we talked about everything and anything , it was the longest conversation I have had ever since I left my home city .I will never forget Sara’s reaction when she asked us how long do we go back and I said just now it was unbelievable, and ever since we’ve went everywhere together we would eat together study together hang out together just like those products that come in pack you can’t have one without the other .
-Chapter 2 :
I was still under the blanket when I heard him walk into the room, I recognized his steps right away.
-Yo dude wake up ! We’re gonna be late for class ! Says Mathieu on his way in .
-Just 5 more minutes please I have a sleeping schedule to respechuknow ..
-Not even 5 more seconds plus it’s your fault you haven’t slept
In 2 days, C’mon Rita get up we’ll get coffee on the go
I got my head out of sheets and said : Your treat?
-Ok that’s it !
Mathieu climbed to my bed and pulled the blanket that was shielding me from the day light
-Surprise surprise Smookiekins is wearing her jeans to bed …Tsk Tsk some people never change…
-Oh smoochie cuddlekins kno…WOW!
Mathieu dragged me out of the bed and put me on his back.
-Now remember if we fall, it was an accident.
-Ok Ok I’m up ! “Long tooth Big Ears” … I mumbled to myself
-I heard that!
-Crap…
3 minutes later, we were in front of the entire classroom
-So Mr. and Mrs. Z finally decided to join us, any explanations ? Said Mr. Gonzales in a sarcastic tone
-It was my fault...
-It was my fault…
-No it was mine...
-No it was mine...
Mr. Washington rolls his eyes and tells us to take our seats, 3 hours of Calculus already gone and lunch time comes, Mathieu and I were sitting in front of his lap top working on our really really complicated engineering science project when Sabrina and 4 other people came to us, then a short guy in the crowd shouted
-Mat Ma-man ! Ready for the chess competition?
-Hell yeah ! We’re gonna kick them nerds ass ! No offence..
-…None taken
I turned to Face M when I said :
-Oh right you’ve been practicing all week for it, when is it again?
-Uh..Sunday...
-Coo… WHAT ? Sun…as THIS Sunday ? But it’s our 9 month anniversary
-I know I’m sorry, I just found out this morning please don’t kill me’-‘
-Give the guy a break it’s not like you’re lovers or something
-More like brothers , I shot him a look and asked : Do I know you ?
-Ha-ha it’s okay I won’t go if you don’t want me to, you matter more than any other competition in the world
I was tempted there for a moment as opened my mouth to talk
I was gonna tell him that I bought tickets for the soccer game everyone was waiting for, this international football team was coming to play, it was the game of the decade, and the tickets cost me the eyes of the head, but I told myself that I can always sell them and get my money back(with interest hopefully 3:D ) since there was no point in me going alone, not only because I don’t like soccer but also,I am not as selfish as I might look, I mean look at him, acting all careless just so I don’t get hurt, I know how much he loves playing chess and how hard he worked to get into the pro team , so just the fact that he’s willing to give that up to hang out with me made me happy …
-Aaaawn ! I wish I could say the same but I don’t do competitions. You can go, I release you ! Besides I just remembered Sara had asked me to go dress shopping with her then we might go for a swim at that 5 stars hotel we crashed into last time
-Thank you Sara said the shorty
-Quiet Oompa Loompa!
Mat gave me a hug yelling
–You’re crazy do you know that ! You shouldn’t be hanging out with Sara!
_Don’t fear for me she’s great
_Oh no my dear I fear the worst for her ! You my friend are a bas influence, I’m telling you one day you’ll get caught and go straight to jail
_ I have you, you’ll bail me out
_Gladly!
We finished our meal along with our lame project, today’s lunch was spaghetti with meat balls, 2 side dishes, orange juice and an apple ,I exchanged my meat balls for Mathieu’s side dish and his apple –like always-since he hates veggies, fruits (besides prunes),nuts… he thinks they look suspicious .Then we went to his dorm room, to pack his stuff since he’ll be going to Norway for the compet . We checked and double-checked everything from his clothes to undies, electronic devices, money passport & papers, hygienic products, dictionary and finally his chess game .We squatted on the floor and stared at the pile of books on his desk
-You read all these just this semester?
-Yep
-You really are something, there must be like a hundred of them, I love reading but I haven’t touched a book ever since school started ,this whole prep school thing is so time consuming .
-I tell you what ,If you rank first in this year’s finals we’ll go back packing in Europe I’ll even take to Ukraine to see Kiev’s Vernadsky National Scientific Library ,you know it’s like one of the biggest libraries in the world they have crap from the 18th century ,presidential stuff, manuscripts, books, scientific works, and cultural compositions..Bookwarms heaven ! You’ll be blown away.
-It’s great but Um you’re talking to the person who ranked 10th for four months in a row ,in a class of 15 and just before that I was 14th I would have been last if that girl Ranya didn’t fall sick for a week, I slacked off a lot lately I don’t even have notes ,Haha plus the top of class is YOU how can I beat you ?
-I’m not planning on taking it any easy on you ,so you better start now as for your notes and set backs you’ll figure it out faster then you think isn’t it so “Mrs I wanna win a Nobel Prize”?
-I will!
-I know!
We looked at each other and cracked of laughter
-So you want me to go through all this for a bunch of books ? You need to step it up a little!
-Pluuuus they have the best water parks and music concerts !
-I’m gonna regret this at some point but deal
-And if you rank even second you’ll have to take the summer program, it mean 3 months of 8th grade mathematics and white bread with jam
-NO!
-Sorry mate you already approved
-DGDKWDGNUDFOJUSDFVJSDJC…Fine ! What is it with you and bets anyway ?
-Makes life more fun *wink*
-*sigh*
-Hey let’s go out and play football !
-I hate it!I hate sports!
-But I love it; Pleaaase ! It won’t be fun without my bro in there!
-Don’t pull that card on me ! ...Oh stop it with the puppy face!FINE!!
-YESSS ! Let me grab my sneakers!
-Chapter 3:
Three days of rigorous studying went by, I havn’t sold a ticket -guys in my school are such cheapskates-I was sitting on my desk struggling with some math problems when I got a vocal message from Sabrina telling me that the chess team will be leaving in an hour, the school made flyers and brought balloons to raise their spirit, everyone was cheering them both first years and second years. I grabbed the good luck gift I bought for Mathieu ,threw on my running vest and flew there, by the time I got to the gate all I saw were groups off students babbling about “the” upcoming football game and this super cool team they have ,little did I care ,the chess team was gone .I heard a nasal sound behind me say : -You’re gasping, where were you ?
There was only one person I knew with this voice and this northern accent. Sabrina.
-I just got your message ,I came here running. Where did everyone go?
-Lol I send you that msg about an hour ago
-Meh Damn you 3G !Mat will kill me ,I didn’t even give him this lucky bracelet
-Come on book worm we need to get you a life ! Mat totally turned you into a dude
-I should get a life ?
-Yeah like the one you had before Mat, It’s a Sunday morning and you’re cramming you have pen marks all over you, So ? Where should we go ?
Sabrina gave me this look with her big blue eyes waiting for my answer, I never noticed she had freckles, maybe I do need to chill a little
-I have tickets for the soccer game ehe..he (Oh my god she’ll kill me)
-Mm you’re hopeless !Well at least the players are hot and loaded ,what seats ?
-Front row
-Cool
-Yeah I had a discount, I told the guy who sold them they were my dying old grandpa’s birthday gift, that he was a football player himself, and that it’s his last wish
-Hahahahahaha ! Oh my god ! You sneaky little ..Did you decide what to wear ?
-Um this ? ^^’
-I guessed .C’mon, follow me !
Forty five minutes of walking around rooms, Sabrina got us two kits, two morrocan flags, huge plastic sunglasses and one of those thingies that look like huge index fingers on which is written “Play well or go home” , then we drew the team’s logo on each other’s faces it’s was hilarious cause at the first try out I wrote “slap me” on her face and she drew a moustache and fake sunglasses on mine. We asked for permission to come a little after the curfew at 7 pm and took a cab to the stadium. A lot of foreigners were there, the place was too crowded it was like penguins’ assemblance .Excitement filled the place ,It was so crowded that it took us a while to make it to our seat ,they were so close to the field I could smell the grass, I literally could hear the coaches and managers talking ,it was huge ,It was a beautiful sunny day ,my hair was in a ponytail I could feel the sunshine going through my ears ,so warm, great sensation, I opened my water bottle when a famous singer stepped in and sang the national anthem Sabrina and I sang along with the others then both of the teams walked in, all the members were tall and muscular ,our team is red ,the other’s white .The game started and I easily got into it ,I felt so proud of our team ,these young spirits they played amazingly but the others were obviously more experienced and more skilled , I yelled with every missed goal, and hugged Sabrina with every nailed one ,It was weird but I couldn’t help but to notice how similar life and soccer are alike ,both limited in time ,full of emotions ,deceptions and setbacks but there’s always hope .And at the end ,at the end the best always wins .
Penalties time,-Or so I was told from someone behind me- players started shooting ,the ball looked like it was on fire ,by the time it ended everyone was devastated ,I was devastated, We lost for 2-7 ,How lame is that, Everyone was leaving perfect time for a rush of emotions !
Sabrina : Oh my God girrrrl ! you’re crying your heart out ! It’s only soccer.
Everything was foggy I couldn’t see since my eyes were filled with tears
Me : I..It…It’s just that…(snif)..they played so well…and lost..like that!.. Smashed (snif)
Sabrina : I know, they’re crying too ! It’s okay now. Although I doubt that it is more about soccer then It is about Matt ,am I right?
I honestly don’t know why did I cry so hard, I’m not the weepy kind, Is it that I’m stressed over my finals ,or is that I miss Mathieu or just Hormones , all I know is thet i let it all out .
A shade of white appeared in front my face at that time , Sabrina was whipping my face .the white color was getting redder and redder .
Me : Sabrina ! Careful ! you’ll wipe(sniff)off the flag and make me look like a mutant tomato (sniff)
Sabrina : OMG!
Tears were still coming down
???? ?  : No creo que ...I don’t think you should be sad ,you should be content since they played well ,we had to go through a lot of failure too but it’s not the end of the world you just have to get back on your feet every time .
Me : Wha…
I raised my eyes ,when I saw him ,a tall guy ,amazing olive skin ,white teets , killing smile ,Shiny black hair and greenish greyish eyes with the tallest eyelashes I have ever seen .And Oh he was shirtless …. So I guess I just wiped my tears in his shirt .Oh shizit!
The crowd was going crazy at that moment.
????? : I get that look a lot, let me introduce myself
Me : I know you, you’re the Soda guy…Boy that came out wrong.. the Soda commercial guy ..
?????:Hahaha yeah but I’m also Angel Reid the captain of the number 1 football team in the world which is a little cooler than a Soda guy I think… you were obviously clueless when you got here .
Me : You saw me ? From where?
He pointed at a huge screen hang in a high altitude then at the booth where the players usually are wich was right in front of me .
-Haha you looked so clueless turning everytime to ask about instructions
-Oh My…!
Seeing that I was embarrassed he added
-It’s okay, that’s cute actually besides that was an intertainement for the guys on the bench
-You mean they saw it too ?
-More then they watched the game!
At that time a man in a suit called for him and said something about joining the rest .
Angel : I’ll be there, James.
Then he turned at me and said :
-Hey ! We’re going back to the Hotel where we’re staying to party, care to join ? You know..our apology for making your team lose.
Me : We would love to, but our curfew is at 7
Angel : No problem I’ll get you back by 6:30
Sabrina : *Whispers* Screw curfew !!do you always get invited by super hot international footballers to have dinner at a 5 stars place
Me:*turns* Sure
Angel : Uuum, It’s called “Riad Nashira”
Sabrina : No shit !We sneak in there all the time ,they have like the best pool eva!
Angel : Well wee had to pay for it *laughs*
Sabrina:*laughs*
Me:*laughs*
Angel & Sabrina : There you go, finally a smile!
Me : Heh !Wait we’re going to “Riad Nashira” in soccer kits?
Angel : I don’t mind :D if you do,some of the guys brought their wives and girlfriends with them I’m sure they have something you can put on if you don’t mind.
-We’re cool if they don’t 
We entered the VIP section, players were cuddling their wives and managers were congratulating each other and smiling at the coach. Angel introduced us to everyone in the room I couldn’t help but to notice how classy and neat everyone looked like, they look all put together after running for straight 2 hours, do these people even sweat ?
The goalkeeper Alfonzo ,a blond one ,started talking in Brazilian all I could understand were words like “funny” ,”want”, “much”, and when Angel replied it was like “keep it shut” and “buffoon” ,when I turned my face to talk to Sabrina, a cute 5 year old boy with curly brown hair and hazel eyes walked towards me he looked like he just got up from sleep
-Hola Cómo te llamas?
-Mi nombre es Rita y usted ? pequeñin?
-Javier ! Pero, usted puede llamarme Javi si lo desea, .do como los gatos ?
Javier ! Pero, usted puede llamarme Javi si lo desea, .do como los gatos ?
-Mucho ! Mi amigo tiene uno, es rubio y regordete , se llama “Tuna”!
- jaja ! mi papá es rubio y regordete !
He gave me the cutest smile

??? : Javi ! ! Ayayay Dios mío, you’re here, I looked all over for you
A twenty years old girl that looks exactly like him walked into the room in a red dress
- Tu hermana está aquí
She finally noticed me and said in a childish smile
oh ! tenemos visitantes ? ¿Cómo encontrar el juego ? el equipo fue genial ¿no?
-Hehe easy there ! I’m not that good after all 
-Sorry ! I’m Marga and I’m not his sister I’m his mother *wink*
-But …you look so young
-teenage pregnancy are you trying to judge me now
-Uh-Oh, not at all it’s your life after all
I could feel my cheeks turn red
-Haha I’m just kidding ,I mean what’s the point of being a young mother if you can’t have fun, the truth is Alfonzo and I married when we were 15 and 20 that’s when I had Javier.
-Well I got my first ear piercing at 15
-Good for youuuuu !
*Laughs*
??? : Uhum ! Not going to introduce us ?
-Brinda this is Rita, Rita this is Brinda, She’s Diego’s fiancé, Diego is..
-The former captain
-I was gonna say defence player but that works too
-So you’re Angel’s new girl ? It won’t take long before he throws you like a used napkin so don’t get used to it babe okay ?
-Um..In fact I’m not anybody’s girl I’m just here with my friend on somekind of tour
-If that’s the case then go back home kiddo this is no zoo
-I know but if it was it’s not hard to guess what would that make you*smile*
She gave me a vicious look before she turned her heels
-Muy bien nueva ,I had to put up with the “Artif” for six years and you cremated her in 5 minutes after your arrival, I’m starting to like you!
-I’m usually really calm, I just don’t like to be treated like being disrespected , last person who did it got a punch in the nose and stuck in an elevator
-Extra points !
-Oh sorry I didn’t introduce you to my friend Sabrina !
I introduced Sabrina too both Marga and javier whom I instantly started to like, pretty much like what happened with Mathieu, I wonder what he’s doing ? I should totally text him
“Mat, my maaan !How’s it going with the competition ? Did you kick some butts ? Guess who am I hanging out with ? ….Meh only the best soccer team of all time, I missed your Filipino ass, text me back when you get this okay ? xoxo”
“PS:Thinking of you <3”
-Friend?
-The closest . I looked at Angel while responding him, I noticed he had a mermaid tattoo behind his ears right down his neck,Beautiful I thought, He saw me looking and started walking towards me I felt somewhat embaressed so I just kept texting .
Angel looked a bit disturbed, He ust think I’m a weirdo , I hate when I’m thinking on some deep thought not focusing and I realize I was looking atrt someone the whole time , what worse is when they realize it !
-So you speak Spanish ?
-Mmm…not entirely..You see , I can barely introduce myself, that’s IF the other person speaks slowly like my tiny new friend there
He looked at Javier then Alfonzo and looked relieved, it looks like to me like “Alfy” and Angel are hiding a secret .But who cares, I’m so hungry and exited to walk into the hotel that always kicked me and Sabrina out with the celebreties of the century, I’m already guessing the faces they’ll make, the look on their faces ,EPIC!
Then he added
-I noticed you were standing with Brinda..
-Oh charming charming creature I said in sarcasm
-Pff That’s our Brinda ! Listen she might seem like a bad person ,but she’s a good one, you know deep down
-Deep deep ..deep down haha I’ll just ignore her next time
-Wise, Um Rita he said can I can call you by your name he said looking at something outside
-Sure
-I’ll be back in five are you gonna be ok ?
-that’s cool
My phone vibrated, Mat just text me back : “I just woke up, was about to call cause I missed you’re morrocan ass too , the compet is goin’pretty well I guessed we ranked top 5 so far
BTW knowing you don’t lie I have to think you’re either under the effect of some magical mushroom or you ended up with some creepy drunk podcasters although hopefully it’s neither but if it turns out to be the second just RUN, and no matter what DON’T LOOK BACK
XOXO “
“You wanna proof I’ll give you one”,I started filming a video
-HEY EVERYBODY !SORRY ! CAN I GET YOUR ATTENTION ! MY BRO MATTY HERE THINKS I’M HALLUCINATING BECAUSE OF STUDYING TO MUCH CAN YOU GUYS PROVE TO HIM YOUR NOT MY IMAGINATION?
Everyone started acting funny Alfonzo was taking off his shirt and waving it around managers were still laughing, wives were winking and acting all sexy , the players doing the victory dance, Marga and Sabrina were dancing ,Angel and Brinda weren’t there, Javier was … giving him the middle finger…-___-
-Euh ! Marga?!
-Javier sonny what are you doing?
-Papito said it’s always the best attitude
-ALFONZO MARTINEZ ! What did I say about teaching this boy bad things
-What ? Not my fault !He saw me giving it to James and he kept asking what was that
The rest of the afternoon went on like this. Mat loved the video I sent him.I managed to get along with everyone I even learned new things about them besides their names and family members, I never thought that celebrities act this normal especially footballers I mean they’re like the top of the top ,you always hear the word rich or the word famous and your mind goes straight to snob. Well this totally had me by surprise . the room though it’s decorated professionally but it feels so cozy, the warmth of the people here and how they bond,and tease each other, a real family.
-Rita?Sabrina?
Marga came back from her van with a pile of dresses
-You just try these out and pick the one you want to wear and I’ll get the shoes and accessories so that we can get going
-K
I got to the bathroom with Sabrina and 30 minutes later we were out .Sabrina had a blue sleeveless dress with perls on the bottom, a light vest and spikey heels, and I wore a long sleeved pink one with flower prints and green collar , dark tights and vintage shoes since it felt chilly outside.
When we got out to the limo everyone was dressed very nicely prada bags , Gucci belts and and Jimmi Chew shoes , I didn’t feel overdressed anymore. Channel perfume was in the air .
-May I ?
I turned one more time to face angel, I wanted to get mad at him for ditching us like all the afternoon that but then I told myself hemust had had something important, I mean I had Sabrina Marga and at least 20 other persons who were incredibly nice to me, and this is it a great evening , everyone is smiling , he didn’t say anything about it , and I didn’t ask
-You may
He helped me get into the limo, Everyone got in ,and once the motor started running, soccer was the only subject everyone talked about .Angel was explaining the rules to me,Javier was shewing on my purse, Magda yelling at him ,and Alfonzo had a zombie face when Sabrina told him about our curriculum.
-These people should be sewed, that’s not human ?
-Siii, no wonder you girls are so pale and thin ! Said Marga
-Thaaanks ! *giggle*
-Aaay!Que…
Alfonzo pinched Magda
-I’m just saying ! You girls totally need to get a tan .I can even give you a makeover when we get to the Spaaaaa !
-That’s sweet but ..
-No thank you ..
-You’re loss Alfonzo said in an ironic tone cause my wife is extremely gifted !
-Oh I regret it already I replied in the same tone
Magda did the “I’m a baby and I’m angry at you face”
-Oh don’t feel bad , we meant that no matter how much we try to tan and put make up on we won’t amount to your natural beauty , that’s the thing we just don’t want you waisting your energy on it that’s all
-haha you’re really good with words you know that
-Oh it just comes out ,unconsciensly I like to call myself “a natural”
We all kept saying lame jokes and laughing at them abviously Javier was so tired of sitting still that he had fallen a seep on my lap by the time we got to the hotel and the driver opened the limo’s door not wanting to scare Javier waing him up so suddenly I told Magda to proceede with her husband and offered to carry Javi my lovely new friend , she said yes seemingly at that point she trusted me enough too confide me the fruit of het loins, then Paolo , the goal keeper helped Sabrina out , followed by Magda, Alfonzo, Chris ,Maria …It sure is a big limo !
The door was still held opened I got out with difficulty , held Javi with one hand my purse in another , the driver closed the door I said thank you , at that exact moment Angel was standing waiting for me,he looked shocked when he saw Javier in my arms
-I’m sorry I kept you waiting
-Oh no I’m sorry I didn’t help you get out but I thought..I thought you were doing some girl thing in there , here give me , he took the sleeping kid from my hands and held my purse
-Oh no you don’t have to ,I can hold him
-Yeah that’s why you took forever in there
-Oh no he’s actually lighter then my school bag , what got me late was the purse…Tricky
He laughs
I look at him in a weird way saying “G I R L T H I N G ? ! “ as if I’m speaking in another language
He said
-well you know the whole powder you nose thing , fix your hair , take a selfie , check if your period went out throught your clothes
I smirk
-Do I look like I’m wearing make up ?
-then it’s either your hair , the selfie or you’re on your period
-You my friend know surprisingly waaay to much about gi..
CLICK! ! The valet took an instant photo and handed to us Javier was wrapped in a blanket so he looked like a baby, and said :
-Mr and Mrs Martinez !Beautiful family !May god watch upon you and keep you always in love.
Angel took the picture , we looked at each other and cracked up
I returned
-A..Actually..
-Thank you sir , my wife and I appreciate it
I try to hold my laugh and whisper to Angel (Can’t he see I’m seventeen)
-SEV..What ! ! when were you going to tell me ? after we had our third child?
-I was going to hubsy ,for real …I just thought I’d wait till Javier would go to college , I guess I just never had the chance
We kept walking a few steps the staffs men in traditional outfits were throwing roses at us ,sprayed some sort of rose extrat at us , they handed us date and milk , of course I had to feed angel since he was carrying Javi, I felt akward since it was the first time I’d feed womeone , but hey not my fault he wanted to eat dates .
We heard our names being called ,I could see everyone from the managers to the coatch to the team to their girls/wives all sitting around a big table , everything was white smelled good and and looked amazing the candles , the scents, the lanterns, the cushons , it felt like I was in King Sulaimanes palace and this was just the restaurant . Others had got here in their motorcycles (customed of course ), Mercedes ,Lamborginis Duh ! living the life , an Asian girl came and took Javi upstairs , apparently she’s the nanny she took , when we were seated I got the seat next to Brinda (lucky me ), she didn’t look well. Everyone was passing their enterence pictures and saying how their faces looked as weapons that could be use against muggers .Others said they looked like survivors of a nucleor fallout
I thought they looked good , but it was funny how theu criticized themselves .
-Would you look at that ! Prince Edward lady Katherine ! said Alfonzo
Oh no, here we go !
-You guys look gooood !!
-Cuuuute !!
- Like an actual married couple
- Give me that!
-Come get it !
I then realized i haven’t seen it yet
-Alfonzo, Can I ?
-Of course
I took the picture and started checking it out , Angel was carrying Javier (and my purse) I was taking a flower petal of Javi’s face , we were both looking down on him talking and smiling .They were right , it did look like a family picture, then it hit me and I started smiling
-What’s wrong Rita ?
-Here in the back, the driver’s totally getting stoned
-Oh my !That really is a roll in his hands …said Jenny Carter’s girlfriend the poor guy couldn’t wait we kept talking and all commenting about the band ,the good food, the enjoyable athmosphere ,we took pictures ,we exchanged embarrassing stories ,jokes, recommended each other books and movies ,snack recipes we just talked about EVERYTHING , finally we ordered desert and had them served to us Inside where the heated pool is everyone took their shoes off and sat arounf the pool ,dipping their toes ,I had tights on so I had to pass, so I just sat on a chair holding my chocolate fudge cake and just staring at it
-Waiting for the cake to talk ?
I lift my head and saw Angel who had just got out of the pool and sat to the chair in front of me
-No ,but that’d be cool !
-So…
-Soo…
I smile at him
-I’ll be okay, really just go back to your friends otherwise I’ll feel bad about it
-No that’s okay , you know we’re not missing much here ususally we play truth or dare, do dumb shit and go crazy ,the staff is always happy to get rid of us ..
-Pretty much like rock stars hein?
He stood up and said
You know what ,let’s do it , now , here
-What ?do dumb shit and go crazy ?
-Mmm that or play truth or dare ..
-Mokay :D You go first !
-Aaah let’s see…
You said back when we were dining that you had a younger sister right ?
-Yeah
-Did you ever let her take the blame for something you did ?
I think for a moment then reply
-Once. My sister and I were about six and four , I remember I grabbed my crayons so I could write on the walls but I knew I’d be dead meat once mom sees it , so I had the idea of writing my sister’s name all over, that way ,mom will think it was her,and since I knew how she wrote it so I pulled it off pretty good the weirdly shaped S and long A , it looked exacltly as if she wrote it .the next morning all four walls were filled with her name and I felt like a genius.
-Did she get punished ?
-Nope I got caught
-Charma..
-Yeah tell me about it , but I didn’t get punished actually ,my mom had a good laugh over it, she thaught that was clever of me
-Phew…Try cunning
He looked down and smiled shyly
-Your turn
-Right .Euuuuuuuuuuh..what’s your guilty pleasure ?
-I try to act like i don’t pay attention to Grey’s Anatomy when Margo watches it, but sometimes i really get into it. Fuck I love that show. I used to watch it in bed in the morning during the summer and if my mom came in, I’d quickly change channels to make it look as if I’d been watching something entirely different, as if I’d been watching porn.
-Haha but that show is great ! It made want to become a surgeon !!
-I know right !Don’t you just love Dr Baily
-My favorite !
-How would you like to be proposed to
-Aaaah I never really thought about it..
-Never ! :o
-Nope but (I narrow my eyes) I doen’t have to be something huge just deep from the heart and it should be to my parents he’s proposing not me ..
He shakes his head in agreement
-What are you most afraid of ?
He coughs
-Um I have Emotophobia
-Fear of vomiting
-Fear of vomiting
-Si .. I often avoid situations such as eating out, drinking alcohol, being alone with children—in case the children vomit—and traveling I also adhere to a strict diet, like crazy checking for expiration dates of food.
-That’s terrible , but you’re doing good for someone with a phobia , You carried Javier ,You travel to every game and training you dine and restaurants …
-It’s a question of habit I think
-No (I smile and take a bite of my cake) It’s a question of love , you love both Javier and football more then this fear of yours and I can guess it goes back since your childhood
-Never saw it this way :/ …In what way have you grown up so quickly ?
I tighten my lips and roll my eyes
-Deep…I’d say totally last year I was some body else someone really different I was fat ,lazy,dumb,unmotivated,scared , aimless,I didn’t give a shit about academics ,I went through mental hell, but believe it or not Physics saved me , It shook me and got me out my hellwhole , I decided to change and stop throwing my self that pity party I thank god for that !
-YOU were fat ? ? and dumb?
-I had two asses 150 Lbs to be precise and a big fat C on physics school exams.
He looked chocked
-Oh common don’t give me that face …You know what ,new rule !you lay bake on your chair and I lay back on mine ,and no eyes contact what so ever the first one to brake it loses.
-Deal
He does so , so the next minute we’re both lying down on our backs gazing the stars, the white silky curtains dancing with the wing are the only part of “earth” that reaches our sight, and all we hear is voices,of laughter,surprise,and relaxation.
We stay a bit like that ,just looking
-If you could have been anything but a football player what would you do ?No matter how bad you might be at it …
-A nez…
-You mean like make perfumes ?
-Yes
-Great Job ! Making the world smell better!I say dramaticly raising both my hand :D
-You’re not gonna ask me if I got what it takes ?
-I think talent is a bit overrated ..what is talent to desire or to long hours of hard work..and if you had all three plus an iron will you got your self the magic potion to achieve any dream you have.Your turn.
-(You later what makes you smile ?)
-How do you want to be proposed to ?

When have you killed a romantic mood on purpose ?

If you could be invisible for one day what would you do ?

What is the meanest thing that you have done in your life ?

What would make you cheat on your boyfriend ?

In what way have you grown up too quickly ?

Which boy would cause your parents to freak out if you brought him home ?

What do you think the best thing would be about being a boy ?

What sacrifices are you willing to make for the one you love ?

What is a rumor you spread that you knew was not true ?

Why wouldn’t you marry your current boyfriend ?

What is the worst thing about being a girl ?

Who is a movie villain you find attractive ?

Under what circumstances would steal a friends boyfriend ?

Who would you consider the worst date in your school ?

What was your first kiss like ?

When have you seen a romantic mood die ?

Under what circumstances would you go to a strip club ?

Who is the scariest teacher ?

What issues do you have with your father ?

What physical features do you look at on other girls ?

Can you cry on demand ? Prove it.

When in your life where you the prettiest ?

What are three adjectives would you use to describe the perfect kiss ?

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2016-07-10T21:31:24+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/bossldy bossldy Chapter 1: 2dkweue3y5 2dkweue3y5 2e50kqnls Ever since I was little, I always dreamt; whether I was sitting in the classroom by the window, lying down on my bedroom floor contempling the stars, in the back seat of every car I rode or even sleeping-Although I never liked my sleep dreams since I couldn’t control them-. God I dreamt of everything! My imagination had no limits, I found my reality so blend and boring I was desperate to feel something ,anything, I felt myself going numb day by day, So my only refugee was the hope that my future might be brighter and greater than my Chapter 1:
2dkweue3y5 2dkweue3y5 2e50kqnls

Ever since I was little, I always dreamt; whether I was sitting in the classroom by the window, lying down on my bedroom floor contempling the stars, in the back seat of every car I rode or even sleeping-Although I never liked my sleep dreams since I couldn’t control them-. God I dreamt of everything ! My imagination had no limits, I found my reality so blend and boring I was desperate to feel something ,anything, I felt myself going numb day by day, So my only refugee was the hope that my future might be brighter and greater than my present. This feeling grew with me, so did my dreams, I found myself a senior at high school, no remarkable marks, parents divorced ever since I was three so I never knew what it actually feels like to have a father daughter relationship, I was no beauty, no brains, no great personality, no talent …I stayed at my grandparents ‘house with them, an ignorant uncle and a little sister, I hadn’t had talked to my dad in two years, he hadn’t bothered to ask, I was going through a series of eating disorder losing 20 pounds gaining 30 ..I hated my body, I hated binging, and I hated school. But I wanted to be 43 kilos, become a scientist and win a Nobel Prize.
I had lots of fantasies, lots of dreams, lots of goals, and also a depression, I felt horrible for wasting time, for procrastinating, for studying and yet not get the highest marks I was pissed at the world, my family members didn’t make it any easier, trying to misguide me. I always doubted their feelings towards me and my mother, they acted like they cared, but the truth is that deep down they wanted us to stay where we were, at the bottom, so that they can step on us like grass. I could feel it although I always tried to keep my heart clear and my intentions good, but you can’t miss it at all. Same thing was happening to me at school. It hurt me so much that people act in a way and intend another. Hypocrisy, selfishness, hatred… Exactly why?
At a point in my life, whenever I would think about it, everything would seem pointless, I never understood why people were so freaked out about their grades, about their studies, and why wasn’t I, I hated the facts that university ranked people according to their grades, I mean why ? That number doesn’t reflect me, I just happened to be confused, at this exact period, it just happened that I am unhappy, lost … Why would a stupid sheet be so decisive in my life ? I’m young after all, I have my whole life in front of me, I don’t want to be controlled, I want to see the world, I want to experience everything, make lots of mistakes and meet lots of people who like me want to discover themselves their vision, the path they want to take.
All of this seems so depressive, it’s all going on in my head, deep thoughts and life philosophies, but outside, outside I look like any other person.
Mom and Mathieu are the only two people that I’m grateful to have in my life, My mother the woman who gave birth of me brought me to this world and taught me everything I know, pushed me to do the right thing and be a good person, and deep down she was the one I look up to, my role model, and Mathieu my baby my angel my brother my best friend, he reflects everything I love about life, he is a kind, smart, energetic, positive, outgoing, funny, adorable, honest, beautiful creature, basically he gave me hope in humanity. We met in Prep school, it was it first year, we were all new, new teachers, new facility, new campus, new dorm, new cheets, and new me . I had shed 45 pounds in the past 4 months, changed my attitude, my clothing style and my hair color, I was so happy I got that scholarship, I started studying for approximately 19 hours a day, 1 for sport, 2 for sleep and 2 for food shower and hanging out with friends. It’s actually funny how Mathieu and I met, I was at a cake shop with 2 close friends of mine Malika the redhead, Sara the rich girl (but no brat) and my gorgeous roommate and best friend Sabrina, I was getting up to pick a flavor when Mathieu and I layed finger on the last chocolate cake in the store, we looked at each other then I said -You do know that chocolate enhances the amount of estrogen in your body and makes your voice and figure more feminine…he replied as he paid the cashier that handed him a pink box -It’s okay chicks find it sexy ..-Come on dude I’ll buy any other one you pick, deal ?...-I have a suggestion, you keep your money I keep the cake and you’ll list me reasons why you desperately want this specific cake if your day is worse than mine I’ll give it to you in other words the one that had the shitiest day gets the cake as an apology from freaking life…
I looked thoroughly for seconds then I said –I’ve been on a restrictive diet ever since May I only have one cheat day every other week, I have to study for almost 20 hours a day just to keep up with my class since I didn’t major in Math at high school, the shit is tough now, I eat my meals in tiny freakish paper cups, I haven’t tasted milk dairies in ages, I’m far from home so I don’t get to talk to my family that much even when I miss’em, I got hit on 4 times on my way here, I dropped a kid from her crib and broke a nail, and now I have to fight over a tiny chocolate fudge cake with the blond version of John Tucker cause when I get back to the campus I have to clean the entire lab section with tiny toothbrushes as a punishment for talking back to the guest of honor on the freaking city assembly, wash everyone’s clothes and pull an all-nighter to get my quantum physics paper done on time IF I get it done on time …
-Okay, you deserved it …
-Thanks dude !...
-see you in class Rita !...
-H..how did you know my name?...
-Well I go to Ben Grir’s Prep school and I went through the class list and there were only two girls in it and I don’t think your name is Myung lee isn’t it ..
-Haha, Nope ! Wait that make You Mathieu Odonel the math prodigy, welcome to Morocco !
As I was leaving he called for me and said
–You didn’t “only” talk back to the guy didn’t you ?
-…
-…
-…I punched him; don’t get any wrong ideas I’m usually a very calm person but he called my friend here the B word cause she stepped on his shoe when we were in the elevator !
After hearing that he sat with us and I ended up talking to him for hours it’s like we knew each other for ages we talked about everything and anything , it was the longest conversation I have had ever since I left my home city .I will never forget Sara’s reaction when she asked us how long do we go back and I said just now it was unbelievable, and ever since we’ve went everywhere together we would eat together study together hang out together just like those products that come in pack you can’t have one without the other .
-Chapter 2 :
I was still under the blanket when I heard him walk into the room, I recognized his steps right away.
-Yo dude wake up ! We’re gonna be late for class ! Says Mathieu on his way in .
-Just 5 more minutes please I have a sleeping schedule to respechuknow ..
-Not even 5 more seconds plus it’s your fault you haven’t slept
In 2 days, C’mon Rita get up we’ll get coffee on the go
I got my head out of sheets and said : Your treat?
-Ok that’s it !
Mathieu climbed to my bed and pulled the blanket that was shielding me from the day light
-Surprise surprise Smookiekins is wearing her jeans to bed …Tsk Tsk some people never change…
-Oh smoochie cuddlekins kno…WOW!
Mathieu dragged me out of the bed and put me on his back.
-Now remember if we fall, it was an accident.
-Ok Ok I’m up ! “Long tooth Big Ears” … I mumbled to myself
-I heard that!
-Crap…
3 minutes later, we were in front of the entire classroom
-So Mr. and Mrs. Z finally decided to join us, any explanations ? Said Mr. Gonzales in a sarcastic tone
-It was my fault...
-It was my fault…
-No it was mine...
-No it was mine...
Mr. Washington rolls his eyes and tells us to take our seats, 3 hours of Calculus already gone and lunch time comes, Mathieu and I were sitting in front of his lap top working on our really really complicated engineering science project when Sabrina and 4 other people came to us, then a short guy in the crowd shouted
-Mat Ma-man ! Ready for the chess competition?
-Hell yeah ! We’re gonna kick them nerds ass ! No offence..
-…None taken
I turned to Face M when I said :
-Oh right you’ve been practicing all week for it, when is it again?
-Uh..Sunday...
-Coo… WHAT ? Sun…as THIS Sunday ? But it’s our 9 month anniversary
-I know I’m sorry, I just found out this morning please don’t kill me’-‘
-Give the guy a break it’s not like you’re lovers or something
-More like brothers , I shot him a look and asked : Do I know you ?
-Ha-ha it’s okay I won’t go if you don’t want me to, you matter more than any other competition in the world
I was tempted there for a moment as opened my mouth to talk
I was gonna tell him that I bought tickets for the soccer game everyone was waiting for, this international football team was coming to play, it was the game of the decade, and the tickets cost me the eyes of the head, but I told myself that I can always sell them and get my money back(with interest hopefully 3:D ) since there was no point in me going alone, not only because I don’t like soccer but also,I am not as selfish as I might look, I mean look at him, acting all careless just so I don’t get hurt, I know how much he loves playing chess and how hard he worked to get into the pro team , so just the fact that he’s willing to give that up to hang out with me made me happy …
-Aaaawn ! I wish I could say the same but I don’t do competitions. You can go, I release you ! Besides I just remembered Sara had asked me to go dress shopping with her then we might go for a swim at that 5 stars hotel we crashed into last time
-Thank you Sara said the shorty
-Quiet Oompa Loompa!
Mat gave me a hug yelling
–You’re crazy do you know that ! You shouldn’t be hanging out with Sara!
_Don’t fear for me she’s great
_Oh no my dear I fear the worst for her ! You my friend are a bas influence, I’m telling you one day you’ll get caught and go straight to jail
_ I have you, you’ll bail me out
_Gladly!
We finished our meal along with our lame project, today’s lunch was spaghetti with meat balls, 2 side dishes, orange juice and an apple ,I exchanged my meat balls for Mathieu’s side dish and his apple –like always-since he hates veggies, fruits (besides prunes),nuts… he thinks they look suspicious .Then we went to his dorm room, to pack his stuff since he’ll be going to Norway for the compet . We checked and double-checked everything from his clothes to undies, electronic devices, money passport & papers, hygienic products, dictionary and finally his chess game .We squatted on the floor and stared at the pile of books on his desk
-You read all these just this semester?
-Yep
-You really are something, there must be like a hundred of them, I love reading but I haven’t touched a book ever since school started ,this whole prep school thing is so time consuming .
-I tell you what ,If you rank first in this year’s finals we’ll go back packing in Europe I’ll even take to Ukraine to see Kiev’s Vernadsky National Scientific Library ,you know it’s like one of the biggest libraries in the world they have crap from the 18th century ,presidential stuff, manuscripts, books, scientific works, and cultural compositions..Bookwarms heaven ! You’ll be blown away.
-It’s great but Um you’re talking to the person who ranked 10th for four months in a row ,in a class of 15 and just before that I was 14th I would have been last if that girl Ranya didn’t fall sick for a week, I slacked off a lot lately I don’t even have notes ,Haha plus the top of class is YOU how can I beat you ?
-I’m not planning on taking it any easy on you ,so you better start now as for your notes and set backs you’ll figure it out faster then you think isn’t it so “Mrs I wanna win a Nobel Prize”?
-I will!
-I know!
We looked at each other and cracked of laughter
-So you want me to go through all this for a bunch of books ? You need to step it up a little!
-Pluuuus they have the best water parks and music concerts !
-I’m gonna regret this at some point but deal
-And if you rank even second you’ll have to take the summer program, it mean 3 months of 8th grade mathematics and white bread with jam
-NO!
-Sorry mate you already approved
-DGDKWDGNUDFOJUSDFVJSDJC…Fine ! What is it with you and bets anyway ?
-Makes life more fun *wink*
-*sigh*
-Hey let’s go out and play football !
-I hate it!I hate sports!
-But I love it; Pleaaase ! It won’t be fun without my bro in there!
-Don’t pull that card on me ! ...Oh stop it with the puppy face!FINE!!
-YESSS ! Let me grab my sneakers!
-Chapter 3:
Three days of rigorous studying went by, I havn’t sold a ticket -guys in my school are such cheapskates-I was sitting on my desk struggling with some math problems when I got a vocal message from Sabrina telling me that the chess team will be leaving in an hour, the school made flyers and brought balloons to raise their spirit, everyone was cheering them both first years and second years. I grabbed the good luck gift I bought for Mathieu ,threw on my running vest and flew there, by the time I got to the gate all I saw were groups off students babbling about “the” upcoming football game and this super cool team they have ,little did I care ,the chess team was gone .I heard a nasal sound behind me say : -You’re gasping, where were you ?
There was only one person I knew with this voice and this northern accent. Sabrina.
-I just got your message ,I came here running. Where did everyone go?
-Lol I send you that msg about an hour ago
-Meh Damn you 3G !Mat will kill me ,I didn’t even give him this lucky bracelet
-Come on book worm we need to get you a life ! Mat totally turned you into a dude
-I should get a life ?
-Yeah like the one you had before Mat, It’s a Sunday morning and you’re cramming you have pen marks all over you, So ? Where should we go ?
Sabrina gave me this look with her big blue eyes waiting for my answer, I never noticed she had freckles, maybe I do need to chill a little
-I have tickets for the soccer game ehe..he (Oh my god she’ll kill me)
-Mm you’re hopeless !Well at least the players are hot and loaded ,what seats ?
-Front row
-Cool
-Yeah I had a discount, I told the guy who sold them they were my dying old grandpa’s birthday gift, that he was a football player himself, and that it’s his last wish
-Hahahahahaha ! Oh my god ! You sneaky little ..Did you decide what to wear ?
-Um this ? ^^’
-I guessed .C’mon, follow me !
Forty five minutes of walking around rooms, Sabrina got us two kits, two morrocan flags, huge plastic sunglasses and one of those thingies that look like huge index fingers on which is written “Play well or go home” , then we drew the team’s logo on each other’s faces it’s was hilarious cause at the first try out I wrote “slap me” on her face and she drew a moustache and fake sunglasses on mine. We asked for permission to come a little after the curfew at 7 pm and took a cab to the stadium. A lot of foreigners were there, the place was too crowded it was like penguins’ assemblance .Excitement filled the place ,It was so crowded that it took us a while to make it to our seat ,they were so close to the field I could smell the grass, I literally could hear the coaches and managers talking ,it was huge ,It was a beautiful sunny day ,my hair was in a ponytail I could feel the sunshine going through my ears ,so warm, great sensation, I opened my water bottle when a famous singer stepped in and sang the national anthem Sabrina and I sang along with the others then both of the teams walked in, all the members were tall and muscular ,our team is red ,the other’s white .The game started and I easily got into it ,I felt so proud of our team ,these young spirits they played amazingly but the others were obviously more experienced and more skilled , I yelled with every missed goal, and hugged Sabrina with every nailed one ,It was weird but I couldn’t help but to notice how similar life and soccer are alike ,both limited in time ,full of emotions ,deceptions and setbacks but there’s always hope .And at the end ,at the end the best always wins .
Penalties time,-Or so I was told from someone behind me- players started shooting ,the ball looked like it was on fire ,by the time it ended everyone was devastated ,I was devastated, We lost for 2-7 ,How lame is that, Everyone was leaving perfect time for a rush of emotions !
Sabrina : Oh my God girrrrl ! you’re crying your heart out ! It’s only soccer.
Everything was foggy I couldn’t see since my eyes were filled with tears
Me : I..It…It’s just that…(snif)..they played so well…and lost..like that!.. Smashed (snif)
Sabrina : I know, they’re crying too ! It’s okay now. Although I doubt that it is more about soccer then It is about Matt ,am I right?
I honestly don’t know why did I cry so hard, I’m not the weepy kind, Is it that I’m stressed over my finals ,or is that I miss Mathieu or just Hormones , all I know is thet i let it all out .
A shade of white appeared in front my face at that time , Sabrina was whipping my face .the white color was getting redder and redder .
Me : Sabrina ! Careful ! you’ll wipe(sniff)off the flag and make me look like a mutant tomato (sniff)
Sabrina : OMG!
Tears were still coming down
???? ?  : No creo que ...I don’t think you should be sad ,you should be content since they played well ,we had to go through a lot of failure too but it’s not the end of the world you just have to get back on your feet every time .
Me : Wha…
I raised my eyes ,when I saw him ,a tall guy ,amazing olive skin ,white teets , killing smile ,Shiny black hair and greenish greyish eyes with the tallest eyelashes I have ever seen .And Oh he was shirtless …. So I guess I just wiped my tears in his shirt .Oh shizit!
The crowd was going crazy at that moment.
????? : I get that look a lot, let me introduce myself
Me : I know you, you’re the Soda guy…Boy that came out wrong.. the Soda commercial guy ..
?????:Hahaha yeah but I’m also Angel Reid the captain of the number 1 football team in the world which is a little cooler than a Soda guy I think… you were obviously clueless when you got here .
Me : You saw me ? From where?
He pointed at a huge screen hang in a high altitude then at the booth where the players usually are wich was right in front of me .
-Haha you looked so clueless turning everytime to ask about instructions
-Oh My…!
Seeing that I was embarrassed he added
-It’s okay, that’s cute actually besides that was an intertainement for the guys on the bench
-You mean they saw it too ?
-More then they watched the game!
At that time a man in a suit called for him and said something about joining the rest .
Angel : I’ll be there, James.
Then he turned at me and said :
-Hey ! We’re going back to the Hotel where we’re staying to party, care to join ? You know..our apology for making your team lose.
Me : We would love to, but our curfew is at 7
Angel : No problem I’ll get you back by 6:30
Sabrina : *Whispers* Screw curfew !!do you always get invited by super hot international footballers to have dinner at a 5 stars place
Me:*turns* Sure
Angel : Uuum, It’s called “Riad Nashira”
Sabrina : No shit !We sneak in there all the time ,they have like the best pool eva!
Angel : Well wee had to pay for it *laughs*
Sabrina:*laughs*
Me:*laughs*
Angel & Sabrina : There you go, finally a smile!
Me : Heh !Wait we’re going to “Riad Nashira” in soccer kits?
Angel : I don’t mind :D if you do,some of the guys brought their wives and girlfriends with them I’m sure they have something you can put on if you don’t mind.
-We’re cool if they don’t 
We entered the VIP section, players were cuddling their wives and managers were congratulating each other and smiling at the coach. Angel introduced us to everyone in the room I couldn’t help but to notice how classy and neat everyone looked like, they look all put together after running for straight 2 hours, do these people even sweat ?
The goalkeeper Alfonzo ,a blond one ,started talking in Brazilian all I could understand were words like “funny” ,”want”, “much”, and when Angel replied it was like “keep it shut” and “buffoon” ,when I turned my face to talk to Sabrina, a cute 5 year old boy with curly brown hair and hazel eyes walked towards me he looked like he just got up from sleep
-Hola Cómo te llamas?
-Mi nombre es Rita y usted ? pequeñin?
-Javier ! Pero, usted puede llamarme Javi si lo desea, .do como los gatos ?
Javier ! Pero, usted puede llamarme Javi si lo desea, .do como los gatos ?
-Mucho ! Mi amigo tiene uno, es rubio y regordete , se llama “Tuna”!
- jaja ! mi papá es rubio y regordete !
He gave me the cutest smile

??? : Javi ! ! Ayayay Dios mío, you’re here, I looked all over for you
A twenty years old girl that looks exactly like him walked into the room in a red dress
- Tu hermana está aquí
She finally noticed me and said in a childish smile
oh ! tenemos visitantes ? ¿Cómo encontrar el juego ? el equipo fue genial ¿no?
-Hehe easy there ! I’m not that good after all 
-Sorry ! I’m Marga and I’m not his sister I’m his mother *wink*
-But …you look so young
-teenage pregnancy are you trying to judge me now
-Uh-Oh, not at all it’s your life after all
I could feel my cheeks turn red
-Haha I’m just kidding ,I mean what’s the point of being a young mother if you can’t have fun, the truth is Alfonzo and I married when we were 15 and 20 that’s when I had Javier.
-Well I got my first ear piercing at 15
-Good for youuuuu !
*Laughs*
??? : Uhum ! Not going to introduce us ?
-Brinda this is Rita, Rita this is Brinda, She’s Diego’s fiancé, Diego is..
-The former captain
-I was gonna say defence player but that works too
-So you’re Angel’s new girl ? It won’t take long before he throws you like a used napkin so don’t get used to it babe okay ?
-Um..In fact I’m not anybody’s girl I’m just here with my friend on somekind of tour
-If that’s the case then go back home kiddo this is no zoo
-I know but if it was it’s not hard to guess what would that make you*smile*
She gave me a vicious look before she turned her heels
-Muy bien nueva ,I had to put up with the “Artif” for six years and you cremated her in 5 minutes after your arrival, I’m starting to like you!
-I’m usually really calm, I just don’t like to be treated like being disrespected , last person who did it got a punch in the nose and stuck in an elevator
-Extra points !
-Oh sorry I didn’t introduce you to my friend Sabrina !
I introduced Sabrina too both Marga and javier whom I instantly started to like, pretty much like what happened with Mathieu, I wonder what he’s doing ? I should totally text him
“Mat, my maaan !How’s it going with the competition ? Did you kick some butts ? Guess who am I hanging out with ? ….Meh only the best soccer team of all time, I missed your Filipino ass, text me back when you get this okay ? xoxo”
“PS:Thinking of you <3”
-Friend?
-The closest . I looked at Angel while responding him, I noticed he had a mermaid tattoo behind his ears right down his neck,Beautiful I thought, He saw me looking and started walking towards me I felt somewhat embaressed so I just kept texting .
Angel looked a bit disturbed, He ust think I’m a weirdo , I hate when I’m thinking on some deep thought not focusing and I realize I was looking atrt someone the whole time , what worse is when they realize it !
-So you speak Spanish ?
-Mmm…not entirely..You see , I can barely introduce myself, that’s IF the other person speaks slowly like my tiny new friend there
He looked at Javier then Alfonzo and looked relieved, it looks like to me like “Alfy” and Angel are hiding a secret .But who cares, I’m so hungry and exited to walk into the hotel that always kicked me and Sabrina out with the celebreties of the century, I’m already guessing the faces they’ll make, the look on their faces ,EPIC!
Then he added
-I noticed you were standing with Brinda..
-Oh charming charming creature I said in sarcasm
-Pff That’s our Brinda ! Listen she might seem like a bad person ,but she’s a good one, you know deep down
-Deep deep ..deep down haha I’ll just ignore her next time
-Wise, Um Rita he said can I can call you by your name he said looking at something outside
-Sure
-I’ll be back in five are you gonna be ok ?
-that’s cool
My phone vibrated, Mat just text me back : “I just woke up, was about to call cause I missed you’re morrocan ass too , the compet is goin’pretty well I guessed we ranked top 5 so far
BTW knowing you don’t lie I have to think you’re either under the effect of some magical mushroom or you ended up with some creepy drunk podcasters although hopefully it’s neither but if it turns out to be the second just RUN, and no matter what DON’T LOOK BACK
XOXO “
“You wanna proof I’ll give you one”,I started filming a video
-HEY EVERYBODY !SORRY ! CAN I GET YOUR ATTENTION ! MY BRO MATTY HERE THINKS I’M HALLUCINATING BECAUSE OF STUDYING TO MUCH CAN YOU GUYS PROVE TO HIM YOUR NOT MY IMAGINATION?
Everyone started acting funny Alfonzo was taking off his shirt and waving it around managers were still laughing, wives were winking and acting all sexy , the players doing the victory dance, Marga and Sabrina were dancing ,Angel and Brinda weren’t there, Javier was … giving him the middle finger…-___-
-Euh ! Marga?!
-Javier sonny what are you doing?
-Papito said it’s always the best attitude
-ALFONZO MARTINEZ ! What did I say about teaching this boy bad things
-What ? Not my fault !He saw me giving it to James and he kept asking what was that
The rest of the afternoon went on like this. Mat loved the video I sent him.I managed to get along with everyone I even learned new things about them besides their names and family members, I never thought that celebrities act this normal especially footballers I mean they’re like the top of the top ,you always hear the word rich or the word famous and your mind goes straight to snob. Well this totally had me by surprise . the room though it’s decorated professionally but it feels so cozy, the warmth of the people here and how they bond,and tease each other, a real family.
-Rita?Sabrina?
Marga came back from her van with a pile of dresses
-You just try these out and pick the one you want to wear and I’ll get the shoes and accessories so that we can get going
-K
I got to the bathroom with Sabrina and 30 minutes later we were out .Sabrina had a blue sleeveless dress with perls on the bottom, a light vest and spikey heels, and I wore a long sleeved pink one with flower prints and green collar , dark tights and vintage shoes since it felt chilly outside.
When we got out to the limo everyone was dressed very nicely prada bags , Gucci belts and and Jimmi Chew shoes , I didn’t feel overdressed anymore. Channel perfume was in the air .
-May I ?
I turned one more time to face angel, I wanted to get mad at him for ditching us like all the afternoon that but then I told myself hemust had had something important, I mean I had Sabrina Marga and at least 20 other persons who were incredibly nice to me, and this is it a great evening , everyone is smiling , he didn’t say anything about it , and I didn’t ask
-You may
He helped me get into the limo, Everyone got in ,and once the motor started running, soccer was the only subject everyone talked about .Angel was explaining the rules to me,Javier was shewing on my purse, Magda yelling at him ,and Alfonzo had a zombie face when Sabrina told him about our curriculum.
-These people should be sewed, that’s not human ?
-Siii, no wonder you girls are so pale and thin ! Said Marga
-Thaaanks ! *giggle*
-Aaay!Que…
Alfonzo pinched Magda
-I’m just saying ! You girls totally need to get a tan .I can even give you a makeover when we get to the Spaaaaa !
-That’s sweet but ..
-No thank you ..
-You’re loss Alfonzo said in an ironic tone cause my wife is extremely gifted !
-Oh I regret it already I replied in the same tone
Magda did the “I’m a baby and I’m angry at you face”
-Oh don’t feel bad , we meant that no matter how much we try to tan and put make up on we won’t amount to your natural beauty , that’s the thing we just don’t want you waisting your energy on it that’s all
-haha you’re really good with words you know that
-Oh it just comes out ,unconsciensly I like to call myself “a natural”
We all kept saying lame jokes and laughing at them abviously Javier was so tired of sitting still that he had fallen a seep on my lap by the time we got to the hotel and the driver opened the limo’s door not wanting to scare Javier waing him up so suddenly I told Magda to proceede with her husband and offered to carry Javi my lovely new friend , she said yes seemingly at that point she trusted me enough too confide me the fruit of het loins, then Paolo , the goal keeper helped Sabrina out , followed by Magda, Alfonzo, Chris ,Maria …It sure is a big limo !
The door was still held opened I got out with difficulty , held Javi with one hand my purse in another , the driver closed the door I said thank you , at that exact moment Angel was standing waiting for me,he looked shocked when he saw Javier in my arms
-I’m sorry I kept you waiting
-Oh no I’m sorry I didn’t help you get out but I thought..I thought you were doing some girl thing in there , here give me , he took the sleeping kid from my hands and held my purse
-Oh no you don’t have to ,I can hold him
-Yeah that’s why you took forever in there
-Oh no he’s actually lighter then my school bag , what got me late was the purse…Tricky
He laughs
I look at him in a weird way saying “G I R L T H I N G ? ! “ as if I’m speaking in another language
He said
-well you know the whole powder you nose thing , fix your hair , take a selfie , check if your period went out throught your clothes
I smirk
-Do I look like I’m wearing make up ?
-then it’s either your hair , the selfie or you’re on your period
-You my friend know surprisingly waaay to much about gi..
CLICK! ! The valet took an instant photo and handed to us Javier was wrapped in a blanket so he looked like a baby, and said :
-Mr and Mrs Martinez !Beautiful family !May god watch upon you and keep you always in love.
Angel took the picture , we looked at each other and cracked up
I returned
-A..Actually..
-Thank you sir , my wife and I appreciate it
I try to hold my laugh and whisper to Angel (Can’t he see I’m seventeen)
-SEV..What ! ! when were you going to tell me ? after we had our third child?
-I was going to hubsy ,for real …I just thought I’d wait till Javier would go to college , I guess I just never had the chance
We kept walking a few steps the staffs men in traditional outfits were throwing roses at us ,sprayed some sort of rose extrat at us , they handed us date and milk , of course I had to feed angel since he was carrying Javi, I felt akward since it was the first time I’d feed womeone , but hey not my fault he wanted to eat dates .
We heard our names being called ,I could see everyone from the managers to the coatch to the team to their girls/wives all sitting around a big table , everything was white smelled good and and looked amazing the candles , the scents, the lanterns, the cushons , it felt like I was in King Sulaimanes palace and this was just the restaurant . Others had got here in their motorcycles (customed of course ), Mercedes ,Lamborginis Duh ! living the life , an Asian girl came and took Javi upstairs , apparently she’s the nanny she took , when we were seated I got the seat next to Brinda (lucky me ), she didn’t look well. Everyone was passing their enterence pictures and saying how their faces looked as weapons that could be use against muggers .Others said they looked like survivors of a nucleor fallout
I thought they looked good , but it was funny how theu criticized themselves .
-Would you look at that ! Prince Edward lady Katherine ! said Alfonzo
Oh no, here we go !
-You guys look gooood !!
-Cuuuute !!
- Like an actual married couple
- Give me that!
-Come get it !
I then realized i haven’t seen it yet
-Alfonzo, Can I ?
-Of course
I took the picture and started checking it out , Angel was carrying Javier (and my purse) I was taking a flower petal of Javi’s face , we were both looking down on him talking and smiling .They were right , it did look like a family picture, then it hit me and I started smiling
-What’s wrong Rita ?
-Here in the back, the driver’s totally getting stoned
-Oh my !That really is a roll in his hands …said Jenny Carter’s girlfriend the poor guy couldn’t wait we kept talking and all commenting about the band ,the good food, the enjoyable athmosphere ,we took pictures ,we exchanged embarrassing stories ,jokes, recommended each other books and movies ,snack recipes we just talked about EVERYTHING , finally we ordered desert and had them served to us Inside where the heated pool is everyone took their shoes off and sat arounf the pool ,dipping their toes ,I had tights on so I had to pass, so I just sat on a chair holding my chocolate fudge cake and just staring at it
-Waiting for the cake to talk ?
I lift my head and saw Angel who had just got out of the pool and sat to the chair in front of me
-No ,but that’d be cool !
-So…
-Soo…
I smile at him
-I’ll be okay, really just go back to your friends otherwise I’ll feel bad about it
-No that’s okay , you know we’re not missing much here ususally we play truth or dare, do dumb shit and go crazy ,the staff is always happy to get rid of us ..
-Pretty much like rock stars hein?
He stood up and said
You know what ,let’s do it , now , here
-What ?do dumb shit and go crazy ?
-Mmm that or play truth or dare ..
-Mokay :D You go first !
-Aaah let’s see…
You said back when we were dining that you had a younger sister right ?
-Yeah
-Did you ever let her take the blame for something you did ?
I think for a moment then reply
-Once. My sister and I were about six and four , I remember I grabbed my crayons so I could write on the walls but I knew I’d be dead meat once mom sees it , so I had the idea of writing my sister’s name all over, that way ,mom will think it was her,and since I knew how she wrote it so I pulled it off pretty good the weirdly shaped S and long A , it looked exacltly as if she wrote it .the next morning all four walls were filled with her name and I felt like a genius.
-Did she get punished ?
-Nope I got caught
-Charma..
-Yeah tell me about it , but I didn’t get punished actually ,my mom had a good laugh over it, she thaught that was clever of me
-Phew…Try cunning
He looked down and smiled shyly
-Your turn
-Right .Euuuuuuuuuuh..what’s your guilty pleasure ?
-I try to act like i don’t pay attention to Grey’s Anatomy when Margo watches it, but sometimes i really get into it. Fuck I love that show. I used to watch it in bed in the morning during the summer and if my mom came in, I’d quickly change channels to make it look as if I’d been watching something entirely different, as if I’d been watching porn.
-Haha but that show is great ! It made want to become a surgeon !!
-I know right !Don’t you just love Dr Baily
-My favorite !
-How would you like to be proposed to
-Aaaah I never really thought about it..
-Never ! :o
-Nope but (I narrow my eyes) I doen’t have to be something huge just deep from the heart and it should be to my parents he’s proposing not me ..
He shakes his head in agreement
-What are you most afraid of ?
He coughs
-Um I have Emotophobia
-Fear of vomiting
-Fear of vomiting
-Si .. I often avoid situations such as eating out, drinking alcohol, being alone with children—in case the children vomit—and traveling I also adhere to a strict diet, like crazy checking for expiration dates of food.
-That’s terrible , but you’re doing good for someone with a phobia , You carried Javier ,You travel to every game and training you dine and restaurants …
-It’s a question of habit I think
-No (I smile and take a bite of my cake) It’s a question of love , you love both Javier and football more then this fear of yours and I can guess it goes back since your childhood
-Never saw it this way :/ …In what way have you grown up so quickly ?
I tighten my lips and roll my eyes
-Deep…I’d say totally last year I was some body else someone really different I was fat ,lazy,dumb,unmotivated,scared , aimless,I didn’t give a shit about academics ,I went through mental hell, but believe it or not Physics saved me , It shook me and got me out my hellwhole , I decided to change and stop throwing my self that pity party I thank god for that !
-YOU were fat ? ? and dumb?
-I had two asses 150 Lbs to be precise and a big fat C on physics school exams.
He looked chocked
-Oh common don’t give me that face …You know what ,new rule !you lay bake on your chair and I lay back on mine ,and no eyes contact what so ever the first one to brake it loses.
-Deal
He does so , so the next minute we’re both lying down on our backs gazing the stars, the white silky curtains dancing with the wing are the only part of “earth” that reaches our sight, and all we hear is voices,of laughter,surprise,and relaxation.
We stay a bit like that ,just looking
-If you could have been anything but a football player what would you do ?No matter how bad you might be at it …
-A nez…
-You mean like make perfumes ?
-Yes
-Great Job ! Making the world smell better!I say dramaticly raising both my hand :D
-You’re not gonna ask me if I got what it takes ?
-I think talent is a bit overrated ..what is talent to desire or to long hours of hard work..and if you had all three plus an iron will you got your self the magic potion to achieve any dream you have.Your turn.
-(You later what makes you smile ?)
-How do you want to be proposed to ?

When have you killed a romantic mood on purpose ?

If you could be invisible for one day what would you do ?

What is the meanest thing that you have done in your life ?

What would make you cheat on your boyfriend ?

In what way have you grown up too quickly ?

Which boy would cause your parents to freak out if you brought him home ?

What do you think the best thing would be about being a boy ?

What sacrifices are you willing to make for the one you love ?

What is a rumor you spread that you knew was not true ?

Why wouldn’t you marry your current boyfriend ?

What is the worst thing about being a girl ?

Who is a movie villain you find attractive ?

Under what circumstances would steal a friends boyfriend ?

Who would you consider the worst date in your school ?

What was your first kiss like ?

When have you seen a romantic mood die ?

Under what circumstances would you go to a strip club ?

Who is the scariest teacher ?

What issues do you have with your father ?

What physical features do you look at on other girls ?

Can you cry on demand ? Prove it.

When in your life where you the prettiest ?

What are three adjectives would you use to describe the perfect kiss ?

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2016-07-10T21:28:48+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/What-to-do What to do ? The Media played so much with my mind ,it started telling me how that i must sleep 8hours a day ,eat all vitamins and minerals just healthy and lose 0.000002 kilos a wekk if i want to be healthy ,like who does thatdon't study noe then three hours then take a break ,listen to classical music,do not pull an all nighter ...wtf HELLOOOOOOOOOO !!! this is real world not Barbie world and if i keep doing this soon enough I want have ANYTHING and i won't be ANYONE , this turned me into a real life lazy demotivated jack ass SO from now on I will only go online for educational The Media played so much with my mind ,it started telling me how that i must sleep 8hours a day ,eat all vitamins and minerals just healthy and lose 0.000002 kilos a wekk if i want to be healthy ,like who does thatdon’t study noe then three hours then take a break ,listen to classical music,do not pull an all nighter ...wtf
HELLOOOOOOOOOO !! ! this is real world not Barbie world and if i keep doing this soon enough I want have ANYTHING and i won’t be ANYONE , this turned me into a real life lazy demotivated jack ass SO from now on I will only go online for educational reasons no shit videos no crap ...i’m not gonna ruin my life so : No internet, no TV ,only preactical creative shit where i’m the one who actually does the thinking you know with braaaain the one that god made for me not some kind of shit made by humans so that they can get me to think the way they want me to .
My only plan to get into prep school then to MIT is to study and pray, I will pray that I get the grades required that i Get in with the will of god , and then that I end up a top student so that I can later on apply to MIT ,where I can blossom even more ,that would get inti places like that must be :
-Smart
-Hard working
-Patient
-Talented
-Athletic
-Creative
-Courageous
-Doesn’t bow down for distractions
-Thin
-Humorous
-Clever
-Engaging
-Seeker
-Looker outside the box
-Dedicated
-trained
-Focused
Everything they do from the moment they make the desicion is to make sure everything they do every second is to get closer to their dream , it’s called unselfish love , I want you , you may not want me as well as you might so i’m just gonna keep doing my best to get close to you to make you want me even if you didn’t know i exist once you say you don’t want me i won’t hate you then maybe you’ll realize how right i am to you and come flying to me .

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2015-06-26T10:35:25+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/Emploi-Du-Temps Emploi Du Temps 12:30__01:00(Sleep) 01:00__03:25(Mp) 03:25__03:30(Al-Fajr) 03:30__06:30(Reading) 06:30__07:00(Sleep) 07:00__12:25(MP) 12:25__12:30(Adduhr) 12:30__01:00(Sleep) 01:00__02:00(Sport) 02:00__04:10(Japanese) 04:10__04:15(Al-Asr) 04:15__05:05(Japanese) 05:05__06:05(Sport) 06:05__06:30(Music) 06:30__07:00(Sleep) 07:00__07:10(Music) 07:10__07:40(Eat) 07:40__07:45(Al-Maghrib) 07:45__08:15(Eat) 08:15__09:15(MP) 09:15__09:20(Al-Ichaae) 09:20__12:30(MP) 12:30__01:00(Sleep)
01:00__03:25(Mp)
03:25__03:30(Al-Fajr)
03:30__06:30(Reading)
06:30__07:00(Sleep)
07:00__12:25(MP)
12:25__12:30(Adduhr)
12:30__01:00(Sleep)
01:00__02:00(Sport)
02:00__04:10(Japanese)
04:10__04:15(Al-Asr)
04:15__05:05(Japanese)
05:05__06:05(Sport)
06:05__06:30(Music)
06:30__07:00(Sleep)
07:00__07:10(Music)
07:10__07:40(Eat)
07:40__07:45(Al-Maghrib)
07:45__08:15(Eat)
08:15__09:15(MP)
09:15__09:20(Al-Ichaae)
09:20__12:30(MP)

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2015-06-21T09:13:00+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/Change-Is-All-I-Need Change Is All I Need ... Today I realised that I was shrinking my self too much for others, while others don't give a fuck about me , they want to expand and grow.I'm always screwed by people and their selfishness and yet I don't learn anything ...Oh well ! I guess It's a good thing I don't hold grudge... Anyways it's time for me to get a little selfish and start working on my self :I must outwork everyone , look batter then everyone, and not get caught up in anyone's plans I shall live for me then for others Resolution number 1: Weight loss (A MUST ) -Time dedicated for food and Tiffany's leg workout 1 Today I realised that I was shrinking my self too much for others, while others don’t give a fuck about me , they want to expand and grow.I’m always screwed by people and their selfishness and yet I don’t learn anything ...Oh well ! I guess It’s a good thing I don’t hold grudge...
Anyways it’s time for me to get a little selfish and start working on my self :I must outwork everyone , look batter then everyone, and not get caught up in anyone’s plans I shall live for me then for others
Resolution number 1: Weight loss (A MUST ) -Time dedicated for food and Tiffany’s leg workout 1 hour
_Current weight :70
_Gw1:60(No junk food)
_Gw2:53(Too much water)
_Gw3:50(Too much black tea)
_Gw4:47(Veggies and fruits only)
_Gw5:45(Nothing made by human)
_Gw6:43(Walking much)
_Gw7:40(One main meal a day + low caloric snacks)
Physics and Mathematics:
Spend 12 hours every during summer break:
_Read all the books i Have on the matter
_Solve all problems
_Try prep school problems
_Watch documentaries about thoses phenomenons
_Watch MIT,Khan,Catlech and many more universities free courses
_Do college level assignements
_Test my self
_Do experiments to prove the theorem...
_Finally when all 1008 hours over I shall try to make my own paper in "Ice Princesse" style
_Look for websites that explain most aqurate
_Make a big folder for physics and a big folder for mathematics.
Reading Books:I must dedicate 3 hours every day for reading
_Read from 1 to 2 books per week, which makes a total from 12 to 24 Book
_The reading material will consist of novels, self help books, and life changing ones
_A notebook will be made for the summer reading and notes shall be taken during the reading
_Books reviews will be written either on a blog or on the note book itself for later use
Sleep:Sleep hours 2
_Dymaxian sleep schedule must be respected no delay what so ever
all the program will be based on it and on prayer time
Language:Japanese shall be the language ,Hours dedicated are 3 hours a day
_ Introduction to the very basics by the apps
_ Learning to write with the apps
_ A folder shall be dedicated to this Material
_ Audios shall be listened to
_Pronounciation shall be worked on
_Songs shall be memorised
_Culture shall be lived
_Videos shall be watched
_Progress shall be observed
Sport : 2 hours of sports every day are primordial
_Sport consists of walking,running,doing some Thirty day challenges ,some k pop workout
_Supplements must be taken every day
_Decent sport clothes shall be worn
_Good Bascet are NECESSARY
Music : 1 hour of time is given to the task
_Mostly notes will be studied
_A note book shall be purshaced to mark all the necessary notes
_Individual shall be tested after every 4 hours spent on learning
_History of music is included
_So are great people in the feild
PS1 : There will be 6 remaining days to the candidate ,found after a purposfull misscalculation, It can be used to finish up the programm so as to :
_Do some shopping (Clothes,PJs,Shoes,good bag and pencil bag,good calculator)
_ Buying Planner ,high lighters,Pens,pencils ....
_Making money on a website
PS2:No TV or Internet or any other distaction is allowed during the programm Internet can be used ONLY for educationnal puposes
PS3 : Skills to be focused on next year:
_Learning Deutch
_Learning computering and programming
_Working on inventions
_Practicing on a real musical instrument
_Learning to edit videos and make 3D animations
_Start a Youtube Channel
_Keep raising money for college
_Learn to fix watches and radios
_Buy junk to Invent something
_Get a Bike
_Find a Job
_Make money on line
_Learn about MIT
_Be a Top Student
_Volenteer at something close to your feild
_keep eating healthy
_Read more books
_Buy Cactus
_try playing with "mojassamat"
_Learn Photography
_Start journaling and naver miss a day
_Get a Pen Friend
_Start fixing everything by thinkiiiiiiiiiiingnah
_Paint
_Write
_play Music
_Dance
_Learn to cook HEALTHY
_Get beauty care products
_Learn about all new technologies and great stuff in the scientific world
_Be 2-3 weeks ahead of your teachers
_Invent somethiong INCREDIBLY original and awsome

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2015-06-21T07:48:00+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/MIT-here-I-come MIT here I come ! So. My dream so far is this. I study physics mathematics(1008 hours ), computering , japanese ,violon read 12 books and do experiments and fixeses this summer. I go to Ben Grir prep school where I learn independance meet new friends and keep on working on my new body , keep saving money and getting high grades , having teachers who love me ,meet y best Friend Mathiew ,the prodigy , have the crazyest adventures with him ,go to Europe on Summer get Phy books , go to lectures buy peices for my inventions, meet the cutest guys, buy great clothes ,do my hair ,take photos, visit campuses libraries, So. My dream so far is this. I study physics mathematics(1008 hours ), computering , japanese ,violon read 12 books and do experiments and fixeses this summer.
I go to Ben Grir prep school where I learn independance meet new friends and keep on working on my new body , keep saving money and getting high grades , having teachers who love me ,meet y best Friend Mathiew ,the prodigy , have the crazyest adventures with him ,go to Europe on Summer get Phy books , go to lectures buy peices for my inventions, meet the cutest guys, buy great clothes ,do my hair ,take photos, visit campuses libraries, eat great food, do another (1008 hours) ,leran german,Piano,photography ,painting,writing and so on go back to ben grir, have a great second year , learn a lot get at top 5 in my class.Apply on december earlier that year at the time before i should have had:
-Invited students and professors from it
-Liked every post on every official page they have
-Mada a Youtube Channel about Physics
-Made my own paper on something in physics that is new like a combination between two feilds
-Make an invention out of nothing (cheap) with design and all
-talk arabbic french english japanese deutch
-play violon and piano
-Draw paintings
-Do a lot of Photography
-attend a lot of lecture out of school=attestation
-Study at MIT’s website , so MIT exams and assignements
-get recommendations from professors
-Study a lot of mathematics and physics books
-Get sooo skinny like 40 kg
-Get an internship or a summer job =attestation
-Volenteer
-Learn first aid
-Learn all there is to know about MIT
-Do sport like tennis or swimming or dancing

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2015-06-20T04:26:39+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/AimHigh AimHigh Coucou Mélanie je suis de retour je t'ai manqué? Coucou Mélanie je suis de retour je t’ai manqué ?

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2015-04-11T16:46:06+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/Friends-my-ass-_ Friends my ass -_- Dorénavent je serais méfiante ,je serais plus naïve ,je ne dirais pas tout , et surtout pas faire des meilleurs amis "a true friend stabs in the back" , je deviendrai mystérieuse , ça c'est sur hein ,je ne laisserais personne me controler ,je serai indépendente , à chaque fois on me blesse , et à chaque fois je fais confience .Vous voulez survivre ,ne faites PAS confience même si ces peronnes vous parraît gentille ,aimante ,marrante ,naïve mais c'est pas vrai ,le temps viendera quant le voile tembera et vous verrez comment elle est moche la vérité je parle d'une expérience de 15 Dorénavent je serais méfiante ,je serais plus naïve ,je ne dirais pas tout , et surtout pas faire des meilleurs amis "a true friend stabs in the back" , je deviendrai mystérieuse , ça c’est sur hein ,je ne laisserais personne me controler ,je serai indépendente , à chaque fois on me blesse , et à chaque fois je fais confience .Vous voulez survivre ,ne faites PAS confience même si ces peronnes vous parraît gentille ,aimante ,marrante ,naïve mais c’est pas vrai ,le temps viendera quant le voile tembera et vous verrez comment elle est moche la vérité je parle d’une expérience de 15 ans . 15 ans de déceptions ,de mensonges ,il viendera un temps où vous vous senterez vraiment faibles et paralysés vous aurez mal , vous ne pourrez ni avancer ni reculer , putauin de merde juste tourner la tête et voyer le couteau que vous avez pignardé dans le dos , et surlequel vous verrez sculpté des lettere de cuivre les premierres lettres du nom de votre cher cher ami ............................................................................................................. peace ..

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2014-05-04T17:45:14+02:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/Narnia-_ Narnia '_' Je commence à avoir des putain de rêves bizarre que j'arrive vraiment pas à comprendre , enfin je les comprend mais il me semblent pas logiques du tout , je suis plus une élève studieuse , je me sens éloignée de ce monde , je pense beaucoup je réagis pas , je le vois plus mon 'A' je veux juste qu'il vienne me parler , je veux le voir parler , rire ,crier , mais il sait même pas si j'existe et ça me tue puisque je suis sure que une fois il me connaîtra il va bien m'aimer , je suis pas comme son entourage .. je suis vraie , Haha j'arrive pas à comprendre pourquoi je me maquille en Je commence à avoir des putain de rêves bizarre que j’arrive vraiment pas à comprendre , enfin je les comprend mais il me semblent pas logiques du tout , je suis plus une élève studieuse , je me sens éloignée de ce monde , je pense beaucoup je réagis pas , je le vois plus mon 'A' je veux juste qu’il vienne me parler , je veux le voir parler , rire ,crier , mais il sait même pas si j’existe et ça me tue puisque je suis sure que une fois il me connaîtra il va bien m’aimer , je suis pas comme son entourage .. je suis vraie , Haha j’arrive pas à comprendre pourquoi je me maquille en pensant à lui , je me maquille pour lui , pour qu’il me remarque même si je le surveille de loin , idiote :/ j’aime pas le maquillage moi ça abîme la peau mais je le fais comme même , ne me comprenez pas mal ç’est pas de l’amour ça j’en suis sure ..

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2014-02-21T21:57:34+01:00
https://akward.journalintime.com/Ma-putain-de-vie-ee Ma putain de vie è,é Bon voilà je sais pas quoi dire plein de choses ce sont passé dernièrement J'ai perdu des amis plus que j'ai gagné , le temps nous apprends qui sont les vrais et qui sont les faux ça nous fait vraiment mal mais on apprend à vivre avec il faut juste le savoir avant qu'il est trop tard ne laissez pas votre passé détruire votre présent , il n'est jamais trop tard pour recommencer pour remettre à zero ça vous fera du bien , n'hésitez surtout pas :) Bon voilà je sais pas quoi dire plein de choses ce sont passé dernièrement J’ai perdu des amis plus que j’ai gagné , le temps nous apprends qui sont les vrais et qui sont les faux ça nous fait vraiment mal mais on apprend à vivre avec il faut juste le savoir avant qu’il est trop tard ne laissez pas votre passé détruire votre présent , il n’est jamais trop tard pour recommencer pour remettre à zero ça vous fera du bien , n’hésitez surtout pas :)

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2014-01-15T22:41:49+01:00