Vivre Dans Ma Peau !


I am still not over Haruma Miura. I have the carpenter in the next room fixing my table for me. I broke the day I had Hajar Rihab and Hind over. I almost got eeposed on the ED thing. I am not a liar but sometimes we have to lie and keep those lies going.Either because its not of anypone buisness or because telling the truth can expose your weakness to others, trigger you into some self destructive behavior or just down right take too long. And sometimes if the truth is complicated you have to explain it to everyone and it gets to exausting to tell each individual then you memorize whatever it is you say then it becomes your truth.
How awful. So to save myself all of that. I just lied because i had to at that time but now i just downright dont answer. So what does that make me ? Because I am not a liar in fact I dont like liars lying or beng lied to. But I seem to have to do that a lot. I blame the first lie on my dad. How could I tell my friends or people in a patrirchal society I dont have a dad ? It would make me weak and easy to pray on. Also its sad and after telling the first people I noticed pity in their eyes. I hate that look of pity. So i just dont tell them. I lie. Because at first I never told them about him and they assumed he was dead. I just dont want people to know stuff about me. Like why does it matter ?